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 Trails and Tribulations ((Open to anyone, really...))

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Zydia Aston
Dark Wizards Experiment
Dark Wizards Experiment


Number of posts : 87
Points : 114
Registration date : 2011-04-26
Age : 20
Location : Illinois

PostSubject: Trails and Tribulations ((Open to anyone, really...))   Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:48 am

Autumn stood there for a long moment, letting everything blow away, just for that moment.
Because in the fight, if she let any of them cross her mind, she would be dead.
She tightened the grip on her longsword, unleashing all the anger and fury, the pain, everything that the world had thrown at her in the hit. The poorly constructed battle dummy didn't have a chance and it's head fell off after she stabbed it in what would have been it's heart. Almost right away, she took the sword back out and swung at the other nearby. Speed. I have to have speed if I need to defeat him, that is one of this best advantages when he fights.
Hours, and hours, she spent there, training until she was drenched in sweat and physically exhausted. She took time to bath and relax a little, giving her muscles a slight break, and then, she was off again. Towards solace, by the little cliff sticking over the water Allinor was usually at, but she wasn't looking for Allinor, she was praying he wasn't there. This time, she needed to write, and she had sat here to write long because Allinor had essentially claimed it as his spot.
She flipped past several pages in the journal, some written entries, others containing the music to a song of the musical she was working on, finding the first blank page, she took out her pen.

It has been too many times now. I don't know what to do, I have given up essentially. I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want to try....But I have too. I cant take it anymore. Everyone thinks they know me, thinks they know what I want and what I mean, I am done pretending... Sometimes, I am not sure if even Darren knows me, since this journal, I have always kept on me, or hidden. I just... I cant let people see how I am when I am not strong. When I am torn, and broken, and beaten. When I see the world as dark and deformed, made of shadows and void of all color. When I hear those whispers.... No one knows me like this, I never let them.

I feel bad for the lying, but when I lie, it is because I dont have another choice, what would hurt more, me lying a few times, or them learning that I am not what they think. I am not as strong as they think. Just because I am Hiddukel's daughter, doesnt make me invincible, all it does, is make me weaker, it gives me more enemies, and I have gotten NOTHING out of it. Sometimes, I wish I was just human. Sometimes I wish I wasn't born.
She closed her eyes and stood, shaking her head. Closing the journal and sliding the key carefully off from behind her amulet where it was always hidden, locking the lock on it so even if it was found it wouldn't be open, before placing the small metal key back.

From there, she made her way back to Solace.

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